Kayman and Seraji Sankar celebrate 64 years of marital bliss
By Yannason Duncan
Many marriages today end in a divorce or separation, due to problems that the couple would inevitably encounter in their union. With regard to Mr and Mrs. Kayman Sankar, that there was no problem within their 64 years of happy martial bliss is unchallengeable.
That was how Mrs. Seraji Sankar described those long years that were, she said, filled with both love and understanding
The Sankars celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary last week with a simple ceremony in the company of their children and close relatives at their Hampton Court residence.
Sixty-four years ago, Mrs. Sankar, then 13, and her husband, then 17, tied the knot. Looking back in time, the reality of a marriage between the two parties was inconceivable.
Mrs. Sankar recollected that she was a child still going to school, and the thought of being married at such an early age was farthest from her innocent comprehension.
She, however, recalled her aunt, Ramraji, wanted a marriage. She said that her mother was silent but was not in agreement with the proposal of a marriage for her daughter at such a tender age.
Vividly recollecting the date of her marriage – Tuesday, January 20, 1945 — Mrs. Sankar said she was dressed by her mother, at her then Cornelia Ida, West Coast Demerara home, in a beautiful red sari.
Although she knew nothing about love, and wasn’t even in love with her husband at the time, Mrs. Sankar said, she was powerless to do anything that could have amended the forceful and resolute decision of her aunt and Mr. Sankar’s mother.
Seraji Sankar recalled living with her in-laws for the first two years of her marriage. She said that it was a custom for a young Hindu bride to live with her in-laws. She noted that, within the first two years of her marriage, she slept with her mother-in-law. Only after that period would her Hindu religion allow any form of intimacy between herself and partner.
The mother of three, who was the more vocal of the two Sankars, believed in one theory: “Once there is a marriage, both parties should strive to live together .Only death should bring that separation.”
After 64 years of marriage, Mrs. Sankar can now look back and say her marriage was one of destiny. She said that through both the happy and sad times she stood by her husband, a stern warning given to her by her father.
Seraji Sankar said that on the day of her marriage, her father warned her to never return to his home. She recalled him saying to her, “Wherever your husband takes you to live, even if it’s under a house, you must go; and never return.”
And just as her father warned, she was always stuck with her husband. She said being married for so long is a blessing, one she will cherish until death brings that separation.
Both Mr. and Mrs. Sankar believe in and are advocating that the resolution of any martial conflict be dealt with in the confines of the home.
The 82-year-old Kayman Sankar still believes in hard work and family. Although Mr. Sankar is stricken by sickness, he is still alert.