Latest update May 13th, 2024 12:59 AM
Jun 22, 2009 Letters
Dear Editor,
“The family is a most important foundation. And we are called to recognise and honour how critical every father is to that foundation”. Those were the words of U.S. President Barack Obama (last Friday, 19-06-09) as he spent a few moments talking about fatherhood.
Fathers are being ever challenged in these modern times to be the best that they can be. But why are fathers often criticised and looked down upon by so many in our society? Yes, while the mothers are showered with love, affection, sweet words and more love on Mother’s Day, fathers are showered with love and words of caution, advice and some thoughts to reflect on how to be better fathers.
Yes, we all know mothers have achieved that level of perfection in the job that they do as mothers, but our fathers are yet to be on parity with their female counterparts. They still have a lot of catching up to do.
But it doesn’t look good at all for fathers today in our world and particularly Guyana . Everyday we open the newspapers, we see a woman killed by her lover or husband. Men are brutally killing out our womenfolk and wreaking havoc in our society. Large killer gangs, consisting of men, which this country has grown to become accustomed to have roamed this land and butchered dozens of innocent Guyanese — innocent women! Many of the men in those gangs may have been fathers — many perhaps were to have become fathers.
So, where has the sanctity of fatherhood gone? Was it ever present with us? I believe it was. I believe fathers were once conscious of their roles and duties to their wives, children and the wider society. But fatherhood, like so many good things in our world, has gone from bad to worst.
Today, I shudder to think what the next generation of fathers would be like. Is there any hope for these young men in our society today? How would fatherhood shape their future? Do they even know anything about fatherhood? Did they have a man in their life after which they could have model and shape their lives?
The answer to that question is no in most cases. Many fathers today are absent without leave in their homes and in the lives of their children. Many are absent with good reason, for example, job, essential commitments and death, while others are absent due to neglect, desertion, or due to plain ignorance of the duty of fatherhood. Today, we see young boys dropping out of school and getting involved in unhealthy activities. You see them at the beer shops, using illegal drugs, and wasting away their lives.
Many of them have no sense of purpose in life; maybe no sense at all. Many of these boys will end up and impregnate a girl and start families of their own. Being so disconnected from the fabric of the society, these boys — now fathers — cannot adapt or integrate their boyhood into fatherhood.
At first, all is well and nice, but at some point they must ask the question, “What do I have to offer this child which I have brought into this world?” Already, that young man has become a failure to fatherhood. He cannot offer any purpose to the son or daughter he has begot with his lover because he himself was not properly fathered and is in need of fatherly love. And the cycle will go on and on when his child grows up — making the matter worse if it’s a boy.
Mothers only act on their motherly instinct when faced with the popular situation of being the sole breadwinner in her family — a family with no father. Mothers then become involved then in what we call dual roles of mother and father and thus becoming stronger people — women — in our society. They face tremendous challenges.
Many of our fathers, too, are facing challenges but they must seek to address these issues. Many agree that it is a problem for men on the whole, and that problem extends into fatherhood. It probably is. But whatever it is, men need to do something about it before it’s too late. As we read above, the foundation of all families are built on the father, although it seems today that mothers build and solidify that foundation better.
No matter how much mothers do the job of fathers and vice versa, there are some jobs which neither can do for the other; jobs that are irreplaceable for either mother or father. Hence, it is imperative that fathers ponder meaningfully upon their duties as fathers. See how much work you have to do dads? See how much society expects of you?
Leon Jameson Suseran
Listen how to run an oil country
May 13, 2024
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