Latest update May 14th, 2024 12:59 AM
Mar 01, 2010 Editorial
The world needs heroes. With all the exploitation and bullying that abound all around us, “Surely”, we murmur, “someone should step forward and clean up this mess.” Maybe this wish has something to do with the rising popularity of the “superhero” movie over the past few decades. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Spiderman – haven’t we all fantasised about being transformed into these heroes and taking on the “bad guys” who had been tormenting us?
But at some level we always knew that these heroes were “make believe” and so we accepted the bullying of one form or another as part of life – in all the stages of our lives. We became “bystanders” to what we knew was wrong and sometimes evil. We became the silent majority that have allowed that wrongdoing to become the norm, even as we railed inwardly against it.
But we also know that not everyone accepted “wrong and strong” behaviour. There were always one or two individuals who refused to be cowed into submission and stood up to their tormentors – sometimes even against the tormentors of others.
These are our real life heroes. According to the researchers, Philip Zimbardo and Zeno Franco, that have studied these individuals, they are characterised by two traits.
First and foremost, they put their values and beliefs into practice and not simply keep them in their heads as laudatory ideas. They are willing to defend what they believe to be the truth. Secondly, they understand and accept that to live in such a fashion they will be incurring some personal risk.
Now it is the latter quality that most persons balk at. They may be willing to stand up to what is patently wrong – but what about the risks? And it is this hesitance to take risks that creates the vicious circle of increased bullyism by what is always a minority in all groups and situations. If the silent majority were to assert what they know to be the truth, the bullies would have to step down. But who will bell the cat?
The aforementioned researchers suggest that we all will have to do so, especially in our roles of parents and educators of the next generation. They propose four steps: First, we have to foster children’s heroic imaginations. They argue that in order to act more heroically, we need to learn to think like heroes, and we should start from the time we’re young. We need to get kids to consider how it is that heroes see the world.
For starters, heroes have a strong awareness of things that aren’t right. They pick up on the cues that suggest someone might be in trouble—or headed that way. With those skills, kids can learn to avert danger before it occurs. For example, an emotionally intelligent child might predict when a vulnerable classmate is likely to be bullied and prevent the incident from happening, rather than trying to intercede when it does.
Secondly, teach kids they have the power to resolve a conflict
. Conflict is not a bad thing unless we don’t have the skills we need to resolve it. In order to act heroically, kids need to have enough confidence in their interpersonal skills that they can stand up for what they believe in. Teaching positive conflict resolution, grit and the growth mindset can really help with this.
Thirdly, model care and empathy toward others, while downplaying the importance of achievement outcomes. Research shows that people who rescued Jews during the Holocaust did not tend to be achievement-oriented or concerned about other people’s approval. Instead, they were found to have a heightened “capacity for extensive relationships,” and a “stronger sense of attachment to others and their feelings of responsibility for the welfare of others.” This orientation toward those who were even different from themselves, was imparted early on in their socialisation by their parents.
Finally, express the expectation that children will act heroically. Research shows that kids report they are more likely to intervene when a schoolmate is being bullied if they believe that their parents and friends expect them to act to support victims.
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