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Doing business in Guyana gat added costs

Sep 18, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Kaieteur News – Owning a business in Guyana is like running a marathon with a sack of bricks strapped to your back. Except, in this race, the bricks have names—Shoplifting Sherry, Burglar Bob, and Bandit Barry—and they’re all taking turns to lighten your load by… well, lightening your inventory.

First, you’ve got to cater for the shoplifters. Oh yes, Sherry has mastered the art of disappearing small items as if she’s the Houdini of handbags. Businesses are now forced to install cameras so fancy they can probably zoom in on Sherry’s exact eyebrow twitch before she strikes.

Then there’s Bob, the nighttime burglar. By day, your shop is open for business, but by night, it’s open for Bob’s business. Businesses invest in steel grills, iron doors, and alarms so loud, they might wake the dead. But hey, if Bob’s determined, he’s coming through the roof. Now that’s an added cost for business—sky-high burglary insurance!

Bandit Barry, of course, doesn’t care if it’s night or day. He prefers the “shock and awe” method—busting through doors with a gun, a machete, or just an angry glare. So, now you have to invest in security guards. And since you can’t predict Barry’s schedule, you have to pay them to stand there all day—just in case.

But the real kicker is your own employees. One minute they’re organizing stock, and the next, they’re organizing a heist. The only thing more consistent than the “team spirit” is their spirit to team up and relieve you of your goods.

And let’s not forget the lovely skylarking, late-coming, and time-off requests. The workers, bless their hearts, act like they’re on a perpetual vacation, showing up late and taking half the day to finish their coffee.

It’s no wonder businesses have to mark up prices so high. Every loaf of bread has to cover a surveillance camera, a night guard, and a secret escape route for your skylarking staff. At this rate, we’ll need a “Shop owners’ Survival Kit” just to stay afloat!

Talk half. Leff half!

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