De art of mooching

Aug 06, 2024 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists, News

Kaieteur News – Yuh know dem boys does always seh, “Everyday bucket ah guh well but one day de bottom guh drop out.” Well, dem boys got a special breed ah people who does tek dis seh’n to a whole new level. Dem is de Free Loader Crew, de ones who does show up fuh every lime and neva, not once, buy a round ah drinks or even a lil cutters.

De story guh like dis: You and yuh crew pull up at de usual spot, ready fuh a nice lil time. Everybody tekkin turns buyin’ a round—good vibes all around. But den, there’s Mr. Cheap Skate, or as dem boys like fuh call he, Mr. Full Belly No Wallet. Dis man does arrive early, ready fuh de fun. He deh deh, grinnin’ from ear to ear, shoutin’ “Cheers!” louder dan anybody else. But when de time come fuh reach in he pocket, he does behave as if he was not there..

Dis man got skills, man. He does dodge de bill like a pro. Is like he wallet always on vacation, sippin’ a coconut water in some far-off paradise. And when de bill come, he suddenly remember he got a urgent call to mek, or worse yet, he does got de perfect timing fuh a bathroom break. By de time he come back, de bill done pay and he all smile, seh’n, “Oh, y’all too good to me!”

De funniest ting is, even though everybody know he tricks, dem boys still invite he every time. Maybe it’s because he got jokes, or maybe dem just enjoy de show he does put on, dodgin’ and duckin’ like he in a action movie. But, man, dem boys seh it best: “Every freeloader got he day.” One day Mr. Full Belly No Wallet guh get ketch, and den he guh see how de bottom drop out de bucket.

So, next time yuh see Mr. Cheap Skate at de bar, remember what dem boys seh. Jus’ sit back, enjoy de entertainment, and mek sure yuh wallet safe, because yuh know he ain’t gon put he hand in he own pocket!

Talk half. Leff half

• cheap, Dem Boys Seh, Loader, Skate, Vacation