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Parkin’ probs and mouth wata trouble

Apr 30, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Dem Boys Seh…

Kaieteur News- Parkin’ in town is a real headache. Dem boys seh sometimes yuh leff home early early, like cock still sleepin’, but yuh still end up late fuh yuh appointment. Not because yuh stop fuh buy an egg ball and couple polorie or take a likkle detour, but because yuh spend half yuh life circlin’ de block lookin’ fuh a parkin’ spot.

Dem boys remember one time a man rushin’ fuh a big, big meetin’. He circlin’ de city like a vulture. He panic, sweat bussin’. In desperation, he raise he eye to de sky and holler, “Oh Lord, if yuh find me a parkin’ space, I gon stop drink, stop smoke, and I gon live clean! No more woman on de side!”

As soon as he done seh dat, one sweet, sweet parkin’ spot open up right in front he. He peep back up to de heavens and seh, “Nah worry, Big Man—I just find one.”

Dem boys seh is so people stay—quick fuh bargain, quicker fuh backpedal.

But not all parkers gat guilt. Some just boldface. Dem does park cross-corner, in front people gate, even pon pedestrian crossing like is dem name paint de white line.

One day, me step out a store and see one traffic cop writin’ a ticket fuh a car blockin’ de driveway. Me try fuh beg a lil bit. “Come on boss, how about givin’ a man a break?”

Cop didn’t even blink. He keep writin’ like if is poetry.

So me get lil vex and call he a jack—well, somethin’ startin’ wid “jack.” He look up, and next thing yuh know, he write another ticket—dis time fuh smooth tyres.

Me seh, “Yuh really is a donkey, yuh know!”

Boom—ticket fuh expired fitness.

Every insult was a new slip. He staplin’ dem tickets like if he staplin’ rice bag. When he done, car windscreen look like Christmas card collection.

And guess wha? Me car bin park round de corner whole time!

Talk half. Leff half!

 

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