Latest update March 20th, 2025 5:10 AM
Feb 14, 2025 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists
Kaieteur News- Today is Valentine Day, and from morning, people gan be walking round in red like dem wukking fuh Santa. But leh me tell y’all, nuff ah dem na gan get no roses, no candy, nor even a lil cheap cologne.
Some ah dem gan sit down by de phone whole day waiting fuh de special Valentine call. Every time de phone ring, dem heart skip a beat. But when dem see is de electricity and de hire-purchase company calling fuh remind dem ‘bout dem instalment, dem spirit gan drop.
In dem office, de girls gan be keeping one eye pun dem computer and one eye pun de door. Every time a delivery man walk in, dem straighten up, adjust dem hair, and put on de best smile. But when de man pass dem straight and drop de flowers at somebody else desk, dem face gen get sour like stale mauby.
By lunchtime, some ah dem done give up. Dem start convincing demself seh Valentine Day overrated. “Love is every day,” dem mumbling, while secretly hoping a late delivery gon show up. But by afternoon, reality slap dem hard—Valentine Day does come with nuff disappointments!
Now, dem boys remember a classic Valentine hustle wah happen right in Georgetown.
An old, grey-haired man stroll into one of dem fancy jewellery store last Friday. He got a young, beautiful woman holding on to he arm like she holding on to she future. De man tell de jeweller, “I looking fuh something real special fuh my sweetheart fuh Valentine.”
De jeweller smile and bring out a nice ring—$500,000.
De old man watch it and seh, “Nah man, leh me need something mo expensive.”
De jeweller seh, “No problem, boss!” and bring out a next one—$1.4 million.
As soon as de young lady see it, she eyes light up like a Christmas tree. She start trembling like she catching cold.
De old man seh, “We’ll take it.”
De jeweller ask how he paying. De old man smile and seh, “By cheque. But don’t worry, you could call de bank Monday morning fuh verify, and I gon collect de ring Monday afternoon”
De jeweller call de bank, only fuh hear de old man account dry like de seawall at low tide.
De jeweller call de old man right away on Monday. “Sir, there’s no money in your account!”
De old man laugh and seh, “I know! But leh me tell you ‘bout my weekend!”
Talk half, leff half!
(Valentine got plenty disappointment!)
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