Press Shindigs-Bharrat-style 

Apr 06, 2024 Features / Columnists, The GHK Lall Column

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H@rd Truths by GHK Lall

Kaieteur News – I had warned Guyanese about pushing for press gatherings involving one Bharrat Jagdeo. I saw a double-edged sword.  Some specks of information that could scale the truth bar, a world of propaganda that could not be harnessed, and then the rest.  The rest is the best.

Permit me a frank question. When was the last time that Jagdeo told a whole story?  The full truth and nothing but the truth on matters of national importance? I scratch my head and come dangerously close to the scalp in no time.  Time to try a different tack.  But this is what has become the chief feature of the weekly Jagdeo Press Shows.  He is the featured performer in what is a combo of carnival, circus, comedy, and communication specials.  The latter is my substitute for ‘cussing’, busing down, and assorted instances of boorishness.  If Jagdeo had a reputation for being a boozer, I would say that he is all boozed up for his press powwows.  But he is not. Truth be told, Guyanese asked for press conferences, and Dr. Jagdeo was only too delighted to respond with a helping hand.  It is how the democratic system works.  It is how Jagdeo first distorts and disrupts the democratic process, then destroys it.

Get a load of this.  Ask the man a short and simple question, say oil or governance, and get ready.  It is the beginning of the end of his press conference.  He jumps on a racehorse and is off running.  The sensible who follows his tracks quickly realizes that his trail is spotted.  So is his tale.  For Jagdeo is so swift (slick) on the racecourse that he shoulders aside any reasonable regard for facts and figures, or both sides of an issue.  What his audiences get in his press confabs are monologues in the manner of a Demerara Hamlet (the PNC tied his hands); monopolies in what is supposed to be the give and take of a press meet.  In his Freedom House extravagances, more familiar as strutting sitting down, he is the one who gives what he feels like giving and takes away the substances that have any relation to reality, even routine accuracy.  For those who struggle with putting a finger at what Jagdeo is up to, I render some assistance.

Think of a debate with a difference.  That is, a one-man debate.  To call these affairs press conferences is an insult to the intelligence, some stripping of the dignity of citizens, and an assault with battery on the English Language.  Consider the following.  Some press grunt speaks for a minute, and Big Bossman Jagdeo hogs the rest of the hour.  It’s showtime.  A nice, comforting romp down memory lane, a barrage of curses at manufactured enemies, and nothing relevant to the inquiry raised.  For all these reasons, it is my recommendation that Bharrat Jagdeo be renamed.  Instead of Bharrat, he should be Oscar, to signify the quality of his acting.  A lifetime award should be in the offing, and honorary membership in the local Theater Guild, since it is considered a good day if he is done with one question in one hour.  Before the main culprits attacked in the man’s press conferences were COVID-19 and the PNC.  Of more recent vintage, the PNC still holds a cherished spot in his loving PPP heart, and dissenting citizens have replaced COVID-19.  The virus used to kill Guyanese by the truckload.  Now citizens are being killed one by one by a political virus.

Dare to press for an answer from the supreme master, and the circus master emerges, goes in top gear. Asked before and answered before. But how, bub?  This is how Jagdeo is mighty pleased with himself.  If he were a CXC official, he gets to choose the questioner, he selects the questions, he decides on the answers, and he has already concluded that there can be no other answers.  Other than the ones he finalizes in his head, deigns to supply.  It was what brought Patrice Lumumba U immortal fame.  From my perspective, that is not a monopoly on madness, it is a puttering princeling with a profusion of problems.  An overlord of obtuseness, some may venture to say.

The worst question that a press person could bring before Jagdeo at his press brawls is one that has to do with oil.  When will Guyanese get some understanding?  They must know by now that the man from Exxon, Alistair Routledge, is watching, is listening.  One hair out of place, and the party is over.  It would be curtains for the PPP.  Since Jagdeo doesn’t have a follicle or comb concern, then he must be ever so careful with his words.  One slip and it is into the deep skinny dip.  So, the Vice President does what he does best: he transforms into a mean machine.  Snarling.  Lunging.  Clawing.  Kicking and screaming.  He is the living daytime embodiment of Guyanese worst nightmares.  Yeah, this is Jagdeo’s definition of a press conference.  What is there not to applaud about them.  Look how well the big president is so awed by his vice president that he imitates him.

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of this newspaper and its affiliates.)

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• Bharrat Jagdeo, GHK Lall, H@rd Truths, story, sword

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