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Dec 02, 2022 Features / Columnists, News, The GHK Lall Column
By GHK Lall
Kaieteur News – I confess to have a sympathetic spot for Professor Floyd Haynes. I recall that ancient wisdom: be careful what is wished for, which this Guyanese of many hats: lecturer, auditor, record straightener, and all around committed Guyanese helper – has seen come to pass in his case. Professor Haynes has been given a basket to collect water to bathe a duck. His challenge is to locate some source of water, as well as the duck, both of which are not cooperating; meanwhile, when he does find a well, the already leaky basket quickly pours out its cleansing liquids. This audit task is more than Hercules sanitizing the stables, it is of that frail and tortured fellow, Sisyphus, doing his best with his uphill roll of a boulder, only for it to fall right back on him. I am genuinely sorry for my brother, Professor Haynes.
In true professorial style, the auditor of vintage minting, set about setting the record straight, and setting critical and ignorant Guyanese straight in the process. It is for US$7.3 billion, and not US$9 billion. If Guyanese can’t get something as simple as that right, then they are lost. I am grateful that this goodly Guyanese was gentle, and not rail about Exxon was right to strangle us before, and now string us along. Next, to keep his side of the bargain, he made sure that the world knows that the US$7.3 billion audit project is not a forensic audit. Fraud and ‘gotcha’ duly recognized, then why are we paying this man and his people over GY$150 million in real money? Then, Dr. Haynes went to town with a full head of steam over media sensationalism and exaggerations (my words) about the kind of company Exxon is, and the type of noblemen that it has for headhunters and spear carriers in Dark Ages countries, such as Guyana. A kind and gentle part of me conveys that Guyanese are getting their money’s worth from Professor Haynes, and this is considering his media appearances and public utterances only.
I must say something, just so that the non-naysayers and deliberately uncritical amongst us don’t get the wrong idea. I, for one, do not wish for the Floyd Haynes commanded audit team ever engage in any witch-hunt whatsoever in its review process. For emphasis: no witch-hunts. Now, there is a challenge for me; for all Guyanese for that matter, including those who look on Messrs. Woods and Routledge as their blood brothers, most trusted of best friends. ExxonMobil has engaged in what, by any means, measure, method, and magic can only be concluded to be witchery, sorcery, and even necromancy in the deviltry that is that ugly, beastly oil pact with Guyana. Though the learned professor should need no education from the likes of me, I write on his chalkboard this little truth: where there is smoke, there is fire. Incidentally, that is written in stone, and in permanent and non-erasable ink.
It was the PPP-in opposition, in government, in manifesto, in media moments, in the majesty of the National Assembly-that said it is an incendiary contract that burns this country up. Nobody should need a fire stick to see the men with hoods on, who burned that contract Cross on Guyana’s lawn, that of every Guyanese, whether they have a blade of grass or not in their space. The 2016 contract was witchery and sorcery. Now because of that dark start, I assert, I contend, I insist that there are witches around, for the contract is their handiwork, their witches brew. Surely, Professor Haynes, President Ali, and the Most Hon Vice President will not imprison me! They are so many witches that Professor Haynes should be falling over them, that is, if he was really looking and on the alert (reviewing) for those evil creatures that haunt this dismal land. Instead of being engaged in that, Dr. Haynes rushes forth, and tangles his feet, garbles his words intended to soothe, that Exxon is on the up and up, a corporate giant in the realms of ethics and clean business practices. I suggest he sells that line to the US Marines.
Since when has Exxon been this paragon of virtue? Since when has Exxon let a penny, a measly Guyana dollar, go to waste? As asides, Exxon charged us for cricket attire with its name of it, was sneakily recovering the robbery of a royalty that it was sharing with us. Since when has Exxon transformed into a bastion of compassion, and its ruthless people converted to sainthood? It is my turn to do the lecturing. To Professor, doctor, auditor Haynes, I say this Sir: US$7.3 billion presents a spectacular range of possibilities that is enough to empty the Bank of Guyana and Bank of New York.
What Exxon did with spreadsheets, the Pentagon and MIT would have been proud to own. Those spreadsheets seem bigger than the 26,800 kilometers that Guyana gave to it to roam and dream. I recall mighty IBM delivering a truckload of documents in the U.S., pursuant to a judge’s order, with the objective of tricking, trapping, and tying up the adjudicatory process. What IBM did in America, Exxon is doing in Guyana, but being allowed to get away with it. Professor Haynes reported for duty with this audit farce. He must go through the motions. I congratulate him on doing very well.
(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of this newspaper and its affiliates.)
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