Using creativity to tackle social issues …the Tamia Kala Lashley perspective

May 29, 2022 News

==The Creators’ Coven==

By Zena Henry

Kaieteur News – Seventeen year old Tamia Kala Lashley is an aspiring writer with a flair for delving into issues that affect young people like herself. The Mahaica resident is bravely addressing issues of abuse, fear, rejection and other scourges that young people face in her upcoming book ‘A Child’s Opinion’. Having experienced some of these negatives herself, Tamia seeks to give a child’s perspective through questions and commentary, as she makes sense of the world and the experiences she faces. “I’ve had to experience things no child should, no person should, but I would never change those experiences. They’ve made me question life and the factors that influence it. It has made me aware and has actively helped in the inspiration of my book,”
Tamia highlighted. She spoke to The Coven on her observation where society seems scared to publicly open up with discussions on sensitive topics. “No one wants to discuss real life problems and real life dilemmas. That very fact is the reason I’ve had to struggle to find my own footing in life, and this is the same reason many people have yet to find theirs.”
She added, “I’m not looking to change the world that seems overly ambitious. What I’m hoping to do instead, is change minds, to leave people questioning their views on the topics discussed in my book. To make a lasting impact on people, to bring to light things that have always existed but continue to be hidden.”
Below is an extract from the book: ‘A Child’s Opinion’
For Your Pleasure
Why does my gender upset you? Why does it matter if I wear a suit or a dress? Why does it matter if I like cars or dolls? Why do you care so much about the size of my chest and what resides between my legs? Telling me to be more feminine, to accentuate my figure to be what you view as attractive, but not too much because then I would be vulgar, and it would make it difficult for tempted hands and stares to keep to themselves. So then I cover my body to serve my own comfort, and then you say I look too masculine. What I wear isn’t to appease you. Clothing has no gender. The size or shape of my body means nothing. What I choose to wear or identify as is simply meant for me.
To Love
Finding your other half and being in a fairytale relationship isn’t everyone’s goal. Many of us, since the ripeness of our youth yearned for romance. Teens wanting boyfriends or girlfriends, adults wanting husbands or wives; but many could do without romantic involvement. Whether it is for the maintenance of one’s freedom, or just their disinterest in romance, not everyone wants and not everyone needs to be in a romantic relationship. We all want love, but love doesn’t necessarily have to come from romance. That love could come from family, friends, and even pets. Romance isn’t and never was, the only source for love.
Anti-Sadness
I remember being a child watching anti-suicide programs, trying to make sense of it with my 8-year-old brain. I never understood. I was always confused as to why someone would be willing to take their own life. I thought it stupid, selfish even, to turn tail and give up. Yet as I grew older and was hit with real world problems that piled heavily on my shoulders, that made me dread opening my eyes in the morning, I found myself thinking back to those programs. Finally, I understood. With familiar experiences, I often wondered whether I someday would become an example on someone else’s television screen.
Perfect
Wanting to fly away from my own skin has become the norm. I’ve come to a point in my short life where I’ve began to blossom and discover new parts of myself. This isn’t my body looking back, it never was. And no amount of makeup or subtle changes in clothing can suddenly fix what I now classify as broken. But it is normal to hate my body, to hate the unfamiliar face that stares back at me from the depths of my mirror. Isn’t that what the media says? New diet pills, exercise apps, picturesque body types of actresses and models. It is what I have to achieve if I want to be accepted into society.
Good Boy
Boys aren’t allowed to cry. They have to remain strong because that is what they are meant to be, strong and without weakness. Maybe I’m simply dense, or maybe my young mind cannot comprehend, but I wonder, when did crying become taboo for men? Maybe when the media came into play? Maybe when fathers and grandfathers forced their views onto the impressionable male youth? Or was it when toxic masculinity became mainstream, that it crept its way into normality. All of the above perhaps, but I see it in movies when boys portrayed as ‘sensitive’ are played for jokes or running gags. I see it every day when boys who healthily express their emotions are ridiculed and ostracized. Honestly, it has gotten better, but from what I’m still seeing, I wonder how long it will last.
The Voice of A Child
“I’m older than you. You do what I say or leave.” Then what if I leave? I understand that most parents want the best for their children. I understand that they deserve respect, but is it necessary to project your insecurities or failure, and your need to control on us? Is it necessary for you to lose your already fickle temper around us? Blame us for every bad day, belittle or insult us when we differ on opinions, ignore us in our times of need for your comfort? Then you have the boldness to pretend that you can do no wrong. Call us children as an insult? We are children. We still require your love and support no matter how much you may not want to give it. It’s ironic how you constantly remind us that we are children, yet you always seem to forget that very fact.
Attention
No matter how old you are, no matter how young you are, everyone yearns for attention. As childish as it may sound the feeling of gaining that craved attention; of being recognised and seen is simply euphoric. Whether it is to get that promotion you always wanted, or to simply be accepted by your peers at school. Everyone wants to feel like they matter, to ease the never-ending need for validation. And if that attention isn’t directly given to us, we find other means. The internet now proves it. The billions of videos begging you to like them, to view them, to validate them, prove it.
Big Personality
Does showing a bit of cleavage suddenly make females that much more interesting? What is her personality outside of that body? Is she simply there as a love interest, an enchanting seductress, a main character who is nothing outside of her male counterpart? What are some distinguishable features she possesses that sets her apart from her cardboard cutouts? Is she a blonde, curvaceous and busty, ditzy and clumsy? Or is she just the walking representation of the male gaze?
Cancelling a Life
Cancel culture is such a strange dilemma to me. Yet we see how the internet lends power to people who don’t deserve it. When it is actually used correctly to expose the toxicity of large creators and online personalities, the internet provides a great service and spreads awareness to fellow users. However, as unrestricted access to power often does, cancel culture can get out of control rather quickly. People can ruin lives and careers, simply because they want to. Anyone can be cancelled when persons get others to drag a person online and they do not necessarily having to commit any heinous act. It’s all because the internet has quite literally put the world in the palms of our hands.
Above Us
Isn’t it funny how being a part of mainstream media brings with it such entitlement and immunity to individuals who commit otherwise disgusting acts? We as a society have become desensitized to the wrong doings of celebrities, seeing as we hold them to such high esteem. Celebrities have been called out for their misconduct. Doing or saying things that a ‘normal’ person, would’ve been arrested for. Yet, their acts were either quickly forgiven or quickly forgotten. One creator was accused of grooming and luring his young male fans to meet him with the promise of cupcakes. His predatory behaviour was called out, but no legal action was taken. After quite a long hiatus, he unsurprisingly returned to the internet and almost immediately grew a large following of old and new fans alike. However, by no means is this special treatment towards celebrities new. Elvis Presley, a musician from the 1950’s, was very open with his prejudice towards people of colour. Yet he is still considered a legend and an icon, in the eyes of the black community.
Sex isn’t a necessity
Many individuals do not crave sexual contact, nor do they have to. To take part in sexual activity is a choice, and like every choice, people can choose to, or not to do it. There is nothing wrong with them. They aren’t peculiar, they aren’t defective, and they aren’t broken. It is not up to you to take it unto yourself to ‘fix’ them by forcing what you may think as a ‘pleasant experience’ onto them. Their lack of sex drive does not make them any less intimate than other individuals. They could choose to love, choose to be in romantic relationships if they pleased. It does not make them any less normal, and it does not make them less of a person.
I love your smile and not your identity
Your heart flatters me, your personality so utterly attractive. You are charming, so charming that I look pass your identity. For what I love about you is not defined by what resides between your legs. The world tells me to love based on their views; such biased words fall on my deaf ears. I could care less about their societal norms, their generations of beliefs and false teachings. Who I choose to love is my business, just as much as who they choose to love is theirs. My attractions are valid, private and personal; and I will not apologize for it being such.
Pink And Blue
Women have often been associated with the colour pink, either complimenting or forcing their femininity; a clear brand to let the world know how ‘fragile’ and ‘dainty’ they are. A bright sign begging for a quote on quote ‘strong’ man to swoop in and protect them from the big, scary world. To keep them safe from other men who may try to corrupt their purity. In the very same way, blue acts as a badge of ‘pride’ for men. Blue represents security, stability, a supposed representation of a man’s strength and masculinity; and most importantly their ability to protect and defend those weaker than them. But what if I told you that once upon a time, the roles of the colours were reversed? Pink was once proudly worn by men so as to make them eye-catching, because it was a man’s job to stand out above the rest while blue was meant for women, because it showcased them demurely. However, at the end of the day those are just colours; and nothing so miniscule should hold such importance in society.
Others
People tend to blame their misfortunes on non-existent beings and delusional beliefs. Seeing as it is much easier to place the blame on something that cannot defend itself than taking account for one’s actions. No one wants to experience failure, especially when they themselves are the reason for it. It’s similar to a child blaming their wrong doings on an imaginary figure. You spent all of your money and forgot to pay rent? It’s ok, blame it on Mr. Nobody. Surely, it’s not as though you have complete control over your own life, right?
Help
We all need help, crave for a helping hand to pull us out of our anguish; a friend, a stranger or a saviour. We want someone to swoop in; our personal hero, someone who comes to our rescue without being called; because the simple fact is that the majority of us never want to, and choose not to ask for help. Whether it is for the protection of one’s pride, or the fear of rejection and therefore humiliation, many of us hope for someone to notice our pain and struggle and act with their own free will instead of us having to ask them. Whether you choose to believe it or not, no one person can do everything on their own. We all need help, and there is no shame in asking for it.