Latest update April 19th, 2024 12:59 AM
Oct 22, 2017 Countryman, Features / Columnists
By Dennis Nichols
I wonder what passes through the minds of our children when they see greying men, matronly women, and young Turks ranting and wild-eyed, or cunningly slick, jabbing their venomous daggers at each other’s throats…and dreams?
And if they ask, what do you tell them about our leaders who can’t seem to find anything to agree on, even as they rave about their wonderful plans for the wonderful country they love so much?
As parents and caregivers, we are supposed to be strong, nurturing, and intelligent, with the ability and the adroitness to somehow answer the tough and the unanswerable questions children ask. Helping to raise seven children (six rambunctious boys and a girl) has taught me the value of tempering truth with discretion, and sometimes with the unflattering honesty of being able to simply say “I don’t know”.
Children can embarrass you with the irritating forthrightness of their questions and observations, like the time my five-year-old daughter ran to the door and kissed me as I left for work one morning. She then enquired, or rather enquiringly shouted within earshot of our neighbours, “Daddy you brush your teeth?” I’ve been blessed with a measure of imperturbability and the great ability to laugh at myself. So I did, and loved her just a little more for her artlessness.
Occasionally we are stumped, not so much by the difficulty of a child’s question as by the utter directness and honesty of it. Obviously the one about where babies come from is the biggest baffler. Attempts to bluff and forestall are usually met with more questions and more bafflement. The innocence of the child overwhelms the artifice of the adult so that more often than not an intelligent response is postponed or answered with subtle hints and oblique references to the fatal danger a certain curious cat placed herself in.
We Guyanese, and indeed West Indians, are famous (or notorious) for disciplining our children when they get mannish or womanish, ‘out of hand’ or like the Jamaicans say ‘out’a arder’ and quite rightly so, but sometimes we use it as a cover for our own ignorance and insecurity. How many of us grew up with the admonition to only ‘speak when you’re spoken to; answer when you’re called? Or ‘children should be seen and not heard!’ Some of us learnt to obey these decrees, but some of us were too precocious as children, and had to take our licks and tongue-lashings whenever our parents felt they were merited.
Things have changed. Children, mostly in the so-called developed world, are allowed much more latitude now in expressing themselves and in questioning the authority of adults. While teaching in The Bahamas and for a short time in the United States, I got a taste of that. I was asked (with straight faces) about my love life. I found out from students that although I was a ‘fun’ teacher I could be boring at times, particularly when they were still in fun mode. They accused me of favouring the girls over the boys, and felt that I liked my red ink pen way too much. I did a lot of smiling and head-nodding.
Some of the most poignant inquiries come from sensitive and introvert children, and concern things that adults tend to take for granted – like the killing and eating of animals. Several years ago a video of a young Brazilian boy, Luiz, about to eat his dinner, went viral on the internet and brought some adults to tears. His mother had placed a meal of octopus gnocchi (octopus legs with rice, dumplings and gravy) before him. But the child hesitated, then asked his mother what was it he was about to eat.
When his mother tells him what it is, he launches into a series of questions that she can answer only half-heartedly. The conversation, in Portuguese with English subtitles, goes something like this.
Boy: “This octopus isn’t real, right? He doesn’t speak and he doesn’t have a head, right?” Mom: “He doesn’t have a head; these are only the chopped little legs.”
Boy: “But – is his head in the sea?”
Mom: “It is at the fish market.”
Boy: (evidently puzzled) “The man chopped it? …Like this?” He makes cutting movements with his hands.
Mom: “Yes, he did.” Boy: “Why?”
The mother goes on to explain how octopi, like cows and chickens, are killed for human consumption. The child disagrees. With childlike logic, he argues that no one eats chickens because they are animals, and that he wouldn’t eat the octopus. His mother seems to agree. The boy reels off a list of creatures that are animals including octopus, fish, chickens, cows and pigs, and asks if they have to die in order to be eaten.
He adds, “I don’t like that they die; I like that they stay standing up … these animals, you gotta take care of them … and not eat them.” He emphasizes his point with hand and head gestures. His mother starts to choke up, and agrees that he will eat the potatoes and rice only. He asks, “Why are you crying … I’m doing something beautiful?” She manages a stifled laugh as Luiz begins to eat.
I can imagine a young child asking a parent or a teacher a couple of questions as to why the adults who want to govern our country seem to dislike each other, and each other’s ideas, so much. It may go something like this.
Child: “Why are the APNU+AFC people and the PPPC people always quarreling and shouting about each other?”
Adult: “They are supposed to. That’s the way it has always been. You see, they both love Guyana and want to see our country grow and prosper, but they think that each of them knows the best way to do this, and that the other will eventually destroy the country, even though they both say they love it. You see?”
Child: No, it is very confusing. If they have love in their heart for Guyana, why are they always so angry? And why do they call themselves a party? Shouldn’t a party be something happy?”
At this point the parent may choose to attempt an explanation of the inexplicable, or engage the time–honoured ploy of concealing his/her ineptness with subterfuge by resorting to the authority bluff.
Either way, the child will be left with a big gap in his/her effort to grasp even a very basic understanding of politics and government. But not to worry; other adults and maybe some peers will bridge the gap later with street-smart ideas about how to play the politics game and who really ‘running t’ings’.
Obviously, politics is not only, and always, about ‘politics’. It also has a lot to do with human nature, individual biases, greed, control, etc … Actual governance may simply have to fit a preconceived mold shaped by human effort, arrogance and incompetence. What else would account for the humongous mess so many countries find themselves in? Guyana is far from unique in this regard. And as the globe shrinks, people and countries are closer than ever, yet more unsettled than ever.
Explain that to a child!
Please share this to every Guyanese including your house cats.
Apr 19, 2024
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