Latest update April 18th, 2024 12:59 AM
Jun 17, 2017 Freddie Kissoon
Former President Donald Ramotar goes to Sleep-in, the hotel on Brickdam, every Friday night, and does karaoke with his PPP colleagues like Anil Nandlall and Joe Hamilton. I went to visit a friend from overseas staying there and I saw the past president, hereafter referred to as DD – De Donald) singing Burt Bacharach’s phenomenal hit of failed dreams, “Do You Know The Way To San Jose.”
After his rendition of one of my favourite Bacharach tunes, he called out to me, and offered me a drink. I declined with the polite explanation that I never touch any kind of alcohol. I reminded him that God once spoke to me and said, “Intoxicants of any kind are the Devil’s own wine.” I requested an interview; he agreed. He asked what I was eating. I ordered black pudding, a bowl of cow heel soup with a serving of channa and a voluminous glass of mauby. The attendant said they do not sell those items. I settled for “sky juice” only. The interview follows.
FK- Aren’t you ashamed to be writing all those condemnation of a mere two-year-old government in the letter pages of the newspapers when your presidency was marred by serious wrong-doings and violations.
DD- I have no idea what you are talking about. My presidency was one of the best in the world. I was far more democratic a president than the man who chaperoned me into the presidency, Bharrat Jagdeo. Name me one thing that was egregious under my presidency.
FK – There was a lot Sir.
DD – Well if you have testicular boldness, cite some.
FK- The tragic assassination of Courtney Crum-Ewing may one day result in you being questioned. After all, the consensus in Guyana is that it was a dirty job done by the PPP regime of which you were the president at the time.
DD – Courtney Crum Ewing was killed by a conspiracy of all opposition elements including AFC, APNU, activists like, you, Mark Benschop and others, and all those media houses who didn’t like the PPP. You were all engaged in a great conspiracy to blame my government. I think the police should arrest all of you.
FK – I was in the National Park the other day. As I drove in, attorney Gino Persaud was driving out. My mind wandered on what your government did that fellow and you were directly involved. A foreign investor, CREDITINFO, chose Persaud to be the CEO of its Guyana Office, employed him, sent him to Europe to be trained, only to be told by your government that there will be no license if Persaud is retained. CREDITINFO was forced to let him go. What do you say to that?
DD- Oh yes, I remember that case. My government got blamed but what happened is that Persaud was warned to stop patronizing American Hersey’s chocolate and buy European brands since CREDITINFO is European. He refused and was fired.
FK – What about my own case at UG. I had five more months on my contract but it was abruptly terminated
FK – Do you agree with Dr. Roger Luncheon’s description of the emanations by Priya Manickchand on the Independence Anniversary party at the US Ambassador’s residence as a feral blast?
DD – I wrote the script for Priya and I instructed Roger to use that term. It was indeed a feral blast. Good for Priya.
FK- What do you say to Leslie Ramsammmy’s condemnation of the government for employing friends when as president your government paid hefty salaries to your two sons and daughter in state employment.
DD- Well you see, as Anil recently wrote, we in the PPP are superior beings to the PNC leaders. When we act, we are entitled to do what we want because under natural law, there are assigned places for different humans. Freddie you should know that, you taught me Plato when I was your student at UG. To make a long story short, any friend or relative the PPP Govt. employed was and is superior to those from the PNC period!
FK – I heard a tape in 2010 that Mark Benschop has in which you stated that you do not care for the likes of people like Kwame McCoy yet in 2011 when you became president you retained him in the same position. Why?
DD- Because my benefactor, Bharrat Jagdeo, instructed me to keep him. I had to do whatever Jagdeo told me.
Writer’s note: this was fictional satire.
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