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May 24, 2011 Features / Columnists, Freddie Kissoon
Most Guyanese know about the saying, “goat ain’t bite meh.” We grew up with it. It comes out of our mouth naturally. Clement Rohee, long-serving PPP Minister must be given credit for extending the saying to younger Guyanese who may not have heard it.
The trouble with Rohee is that he belongs to a long tradition of shy victims of goat bite who are too ashamed to say that goat indeed bite dem in the past
Rohee claims goat didn’t bite he so he cannot see why he shouldn’t give the presidential bid a try. Those who knew the underlings Dr. Cheddi Jagan groomed in the early seventies would know that goat bite all of dem since that time without exception.
It explains their pathetic failure the past nineteen years and their continuing incompetence. I wasn’t surprised but was annoyed when Rohee claimed that de goat didn’t bite him.
It did and that explained why he confused the names of two Caribbean countries and why he couldn’t get an American visa for six months in 2004 and why a Canadian immigration judge accepted a diabolical accusation against him.
Now Mr. Rohee has finally accepted that goat bite he. He gave up his presidential ambition in ignominious fashion and since then has remained reticent about his surrender. He can’t open his mouth because he will have to confess his goat bite.
Indeed the billy goat gnawed away at all the PPP leaders but Rohee chose to hide his episode. Ralph Ramkarran and Gail Teixeira were more strategic. They knew they had their experience with a ferocious goat in the past but they stayed quiet.
We know now that they got touched up by Mr. Capricorn (I am Capricorn –December 30) because like Rohee bad luck met them in their presidential ambition.
One of the missing links about the goat tale is that not only when it bites you bad luck follows but also if it bites anything associated with the person. My wife constantly tells me to close the gate when I drive out.
Where I live, next to Caricom, called Turkeyen, a man on the UG access Road has a horde of goats that roam in our compound. One day, my mother-in-law and my wife couldn’t help laughing. As I drove home, the gate was wide open and the roaming goats made a meal out of my entire garden. When my daughter came home, she was in laughter too.
I was mad about it because a number of the plants that were devoured were given to me by a long-lasting friend, Boyo Ramsaroop. He died last year and I have nothing to remind me of him. Goats are terrible things. Don’t let them bite you or anything connected to you. Terrible bad luck comes your way.
Shortly after the goat invasion of my garden, Khurshid Sattaur, the big boss man of the Guyana Revenue Authority sent me nine property tax forms to be submitted within four days’ time. To date, I am the only UG lecturer sent those forms and the only PAYE public sector employee. I have asked hundreds of public servants if they got the forms and they said no.
Then state agents threw a bucket of filth on me. Then a pro-government businessman assaulted me. Then the Ministry of Works refused to clean the weeds outside my home as part of a clean-up campaign for the UNASUR meeting. Then I got incarcerated for three days and two nights in the Brickdam lock-up for a minor traffic offence that caries only monetary punishment.
If you think goat bite bad then you have to hear about the Guyana cable-eater that I wrote about in my Friday column. This is the monster rat that invaded the GPL in Kingston and brought it down on Wednesday. I heard that this rat bite is worse than when Mr. Capricorn attacks you.
The entire PPP leadership has gone into hibernation. Interestingly, I heard this rat was planning to attack the CARICOM Heads meeting in Mazaruni yesterday but a special squad of mongoose was brought in from Haiti and the Guyana cable eater and his partners made a strategic retreat.
The dictators of Guyana are in gloom. I heard chairman of the NIS board has ordered a complete canopy over the building. Remember NIS lost six billion dollars recently and if those rats eat up the data-base then NIS cannot survive. GWI, Georgetown Hospital, the LDCS Secretariat are all worried.
But it is Freedom House that is most paranoid. If monster rat and his friends touch down there, the PPP will definitely lose the upcoming elections.
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