Latest update April 19th, 2024 12:59 AM
Jan 31, 2010 Features / Columnists, My Column
By Adam Harris
We are a people who laugh at any and everything, we cry sometimes when we shouldn’t and we can cook up a scheme when the need arises. We know how to live and when people in foreign lands ask us how can we live in Guyana we look surprised, because Guyana is one of the easiest places to make a living. We laugh at tragedy on stage and we sometimes laugh at the discomfort of others.
Most of all, we live by our wits. Indeed, it is only in Guyana that the bulk of the population can live and sport on US$150 per month. We even find a small piece to give a hapless person a raise.
Some time last year a known scammer came up with the idea that he could make tons of money if only he could get people to accept that he had the capability to bring international wrestlers to Guyana. I could not think up such a scheme.
This man had to be good because he had the advertisements running and I am certain that he did not once put his hands in his pocket. The advertisements began to appear and the same people who live on US$150 per month ran to buy tickets. They wanted to see men and women slam each other into the canvas.
I saw the name of the promoter and immediately a light bulb went off in my head. This had to be a scheme, I said. John Cena and a host of people coming to Guyana? They would cost millions of dollars. I did a news item on the wrestling promotion.
Before long the promoter was telling me that there was a shift in the date but that the people were coming; that he had booked them through their agents.
By this time people began to demand their money. I am not sure that everyone was paid but the promoter did promise that before the end of the year these wrestlers would be here. I am in the New Year and the wrestlers are still to come.
In fact, the promoter has not even voiced a word about the promotion. Perhaps I stifled his scheme and denied him a fortune. But I saved many hapless Guyanese.
I know people who would leave their home to go to funeral parlours just to see a dead. I then ask myself whether these people have a bet that they would live longer than some others. I know two women who would call out to each other. “Girl which parlour we going to today?”
I have seen them cry with the relatives of the dead and I often wonder whether they proclaimed themselves as relatives.
If they did, then they are certainly in line for a raise in these hard times. They are truly Guyanese who know how to live in this country.
Where I live there is a woman who comes for a raise. She was a good scammer. She began by asking me for something to help her start a pot and I fell for the scam. Sometimes four times a week she would come.
But one day she did not know that her son was at my home. He burst her bubble. He provides her with daily meals and her sisters who live nearby do the same. They told me that another sister overseas would send things and this woman would promptly sell them.
The next time the woman came I informed her of her scam. She became angry. “Nobody don’t help me. They lie.” I simply looked at her. But she changed. These days she wants a raise to buy cigarettes. No more about money for the pot.
We also have young men who pretend to be dumb begging on the streets. Where they get the document to proclaim that they are dumb I do not know, but I know that they get some money. One came up to me. I knew him, so in my best French I informed him that I knew him. I even raised my voice and people began to stare.
This dumb man whispered, “Is alright man. Don’t mek noise.” He knows how to live in Guyana and he makes a pretty good job of it. Those who forget their wallets at home repeatedly and need a car fare are nothing compared to these dumb beggars.
Let us not forget the young men who frequent the parties. They used to stand on the road outside and suck a joint of cane in days gone by. The cane vendor made a raise. These days the young men enter the party and actually get a beer or two from some friend. How they get into the party is another thing, but they do.
It is a good thing that not too many women would ask a man for a beer or a soft drink at these parties because I am sure that would be the last time he would approach her for a dance. Of course, these days people don’t ask each other for a dance. They simply sidle up to a woman and gyrate. Most women invariably respond.
I have seen people board minibuses and when they reach their destination, simply run away without paying. The minibus conductor would simply say that a $40 is not worth going to jail for.
And we have the so-called church people who come for a donation. They are the best. They come when you want to rest and they make a racket at your gate or door.
So, when people ask how one can live in Guyana you must simply say, “By their wits.”
Please share this to every Guyanese including your house cats.
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