Latest update April 18th, 2024 12:59 AM
Feb 22, 2009 Features / Columnists
The Parrot loves, what is described as, odd news. There is plenty around, here and beyond. In some places, odd news is the news. Others have dedicated time periods and newspaper space for such interesting news. Here, it’s only sparingly available.
Recently, a man from a hinterland region was charged with bestiality. Such stories rarely make the news even though it’s not uncommon in some parts. Boyhood days reflect knowledge of persons who would have ventured into such unacceptable practices. Then, laughter and “tantalise” aptly followed; the seriousness was beyond us.
The question to be asked is why would someone indulge in such a ghastly exercise? In the case of the hinterland accused, I am certain it could not have been as a result and continuation of a Valentine “hang-over”. Any such “alibi” can be discarded forthwith since the incident occurred days after. Or was the “hang-over” that extensive? Hmmm.
The conservatives’ (who seem to be in the vast majority) description of the act as horrible would be an understatement. They would accuse the accused of being demented. Conservative or not, such acts are deemed unacceptable. Fathoming of an explanation is in the realm of impossibility. In other words, some things in life are inexplicable.
However, mankind has tried not to divorce itself from challenges to theorise plausible explanations as to why some do the things they do. Difficult as it is, the process, in most cases, generates information which can be revealing as to the cerebral acumen, or lack thereof, of those so accused. Some accused may not necessarily be committing a physical unacceptable act, but may, by their utterances, be cast in the category of cerebral dementedness. Some of this was evident during the 2009 budget debate in the National Assembly. The intention is not to cast aspersions on some of the honourable members there, but they, in their presentations, did little to dissuade such categorising.
One example that still permeates within the cranium is the unresearched, unsubstantiated and, I dare say, mischievous presentation by Volda, the Place of CONgress’ “shadow” Minister of Human Services, last week during the budget debate. Volda, whose other name is that of the great man of Arabia, failed to come “whiskerly” close to his capacity during her ineloquent delivery. She vehemently pontificated that over sixty million dollars was spent on “power” lunches by Priya’s Ministry. Hearing her statement, at first, I was shocked like a conservative. So much food?
The indomitable Gail then rose. She rose with a point of order that Volda was out of order with her false accusation. The Speaker sought clarification from Gail. Priya then rose effortlessly to defend her non-indulgence in such lunches as referred to by the Place of CONgress Volda. Then it happened; Volda was cornered. Gail and Priya had decimated her seemingly deliberate inaccuracy. A keen Ralph leaned forward and demanded that Volda explain her utterances. She became flustered, and at one point, seemed incapable of expressing herself with appropriate words.
The rest is history; she was forced to retract her erroneous statement. Being deficient in psychological training, I am unable to present an informed opinion as to Volda’s real emotions which were masked by the pseudo smile she bore at the time when she embarrassingly, for the Place of CONgress, had to retract her statement. There is a colloquial phrase, which cannot be mentioned in this space, to describe the way she felt.
Why would a legislator in the highest forum of law making make such embarrassing mistakes? One advice Volda can heed henceforth is research. It’s easy to conduct and it’s compulsory for such presentations in the Assembly. Why didn’t she? Why did she continue to embarrass herself during the exchanges referred to? As I said, some things are inexplicable.
If Gail and Priya didn’t rise at that moment, then Volda’s statement would have been splashed like gospel in the media. The numerous critics would have had a field day. In trying to decipher why Volda would make such a statement, I stumbled upon many instances where the Place of CONgress and its associates present inaccurate information. The numerous instances can facilitate more than an adequate number of candidates to compete in a related competition; the “Miss Leading” Pageant sponsored solely by Palm Tree jungle. This might even result in a spin-off competition between Freddie, Moseley and the three Rs; Ram, Roop and RumJHATTan for the task of being the Master of Ceremony.
This Volda-type behaviour wasn’t confined to the National Assembly. Almost simultaneously, Clement, the Region Four czar and the short man, Mc Koy, were having their own exchanges in a Council Hall on the East Coast. A member of the media attended the statutory meeting to provide coverage. Media coverage is within the statutes of the Regional Administration. Why then would Clement even ask, with disdain, the media operative where he was from? The question doesn’t arise given the statues! How does Clement explain the unhindered access to the said meetings by media operatives who are favourable to him and the Place of CONgress? Odd?
As I said odd news seems scarce here. However, with the “inundation” last week, I am optimistic of an increase in its frequency. This increase seems guaranteed given that presentations are mandatory in the National Assembly and the Regional Administrations. Right now I am anxiously awaiting the “Miss Leading” Pageant. Who would be the chief Judge? Volda, Clement or Uncle Bob? Maybe that’s another competition. Squawk! Squawk!
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