When America sneeze Guyana get pneumonia

Sep 26, 2008 Dem Boys Seh, Features / Columnists

Well!! Things get real tight in Uncle Sam because de money stop flowing like fuss time. Everybody talkin’ bout bailout. De only bailout Guyanese know bout is when water full up dey house when rain set up he face.

Anyhow, the crisis hittin’ hard in Guyana because de barrel dem ent coming plenty. Everybody does look out for dey barrel from over de pond. Dat is a major ting fuh most household; all de fancy food and clothes does get people excited.

But dem boys seh dat some people ent got time with overseas barrel, dey barrel deh right in dis country, and gat nuff, nuff mo stocks.

If ‘Fine Man’ and ‘Skinny’ did still walkin’ round, people mighta seh is dem own, but dem two still answering a set of question from de Big Man upstairs. Suh dem boys wan know who stocks deh in de fancy fiberglass barrel.

Business does do plenty pun Regent Street, but it look like some people carrying on serious buzyness.
De police decide fuh run in pun a lil house in Bourda. Right next to de house, in an alleyway dem butt up wid three fancy gun and nuff bullet stash way.

Dem boys seh that this could only happen because Hammy don’t clean dem drain and alleyway. Is long now people begging he to do something wid dem drain and alleyway because as soon as rain show he face de place flood but he ent listen.

Is de same ting mek a man buy a set of window fuh de front of he house. De man who do de selling hide dem same window in a drain and when dem boys ask he if he didn’t worry that somebody woulda find dem, he laugh because he know that City Hall don’t clean drain and alleyway.

Dem boys seh is mo linkin gun start now. Yuh gun hear dat dem three gun link to 40 murder and two shootout. Yuh gun hear some fancy false name gun call, linkin to de gun dem. Dem police gun mek sure couple mo cold case gun close.

And talkin’ bout stocks. It look like nuff rice stocks gun lef pun we hand. De Jamaica man seh dat he country done wid we fuh de year, but de Guyana trade man tellin’ people don’t panic, everything good.

Well dem boys seh dat de Guyana man belly might lef hangin’ down cause he might got fuh eat all duh rice heself. Like he dreamin’.

But is nah he alone dreamin’. Dem boys hear dat a man had a fixed deposit in a bank and when ting start getting lil tight with de stock market, he decide fuh come and see if he could get lil interest from de fixed deposit. Well when de man ask fuh he interest, nobody ent paying no interest to wha he saying.

A man walk over to he and ask he why he holding up de line. He tell de bank man dat he come fuh collect he money. De man watch he and seh like he dreamin’.

Dem boys seh that when de collapse start in de States, dem expect that de effects would come to Guyana. When America sneeze de world does ketch cold but Guyana does get pneumonia. Well is de pneumonia mek de man check de account and find that $8 million disappear.

Dem boys now encouraging everybody to check dem bank account, whether is fixed deposit or ordinary saving account, or checking account.

Dem want everybody who got a bank account to go to de bank and mek a check because dem hear that de bank that disappear de man money now telling people that it find other thiefing and that things not regular.

And things not regular in more ways than one. Blood is a problem because Fine Man and Skinny shed plenty. Then you got de other set who does do stupidness like de man who stab he wife and shoot heself and de one who end up killing a man who attack he wid a cutlass and de other one who chop a man and then kill heself.

Well de Canadians come and dem decide to help Guyanese by giving dem own blood to help out de situation but while dem giving, some Guyanese who wukking wid dem claim how dem don’t give blood.

Well was one confusion. One man ask a Guyanese if she does use blood to mek black pudding and when she seh that she don’t mek but that she does eat it he tell she that is time she give back some of de blood that she eat. De Canadian High Commissioner only watch she lil funny.
Talk half. Lef half.