Is Christmas

Is Christmas and everybody happy. Even dem boys smiling, because dem know that is nuff to eat and drink, and dem don’t have to spend. All dem friends and neighbours done buy likker and mek pepper pot and all dem things that people does have at Christmas.
Dem boys know that dem don’t have to spend. De only problem is when people try to visit dem. That is de strange thing. All who like visit people does lef dem house soon, because dem don’t like people visit dem. Dem is de cheap ones.
One man start drinking laxatives since Monday, because he seh that he got to clean out he system fuh really enjoy heself. Dem boys want to know who in dem right mind gon spend so much time sitting pun a toilet bowl in de run-up to Christmas.
But everybody ain’t stay suh. You have dem who was preparing fuh de season by drinking every day like when an athlete training. De only thing is that rum training li’l different. And dem boys know that when you change de blend, which gon happen today, is diarrhoea.
Last night, a li’l boy who live near dem boys bun he hand, because he push it in de hot pepper pot to thief a piece of meat. When he hear he mother coming, he put de hot piece of meat in he mouth. He sorry now, because he tongue and de roof of he mouth sore.
And last night, nuff people end up in church praying fuh de rain to halt. De rain was falling before today, and people end up wid water up to dem tail. One lady who was minding chicken fuh cook today watch how dem start to die out. She get a bright idea and cut dem throat. She gon be serving chicken that look like dove. That is wha dem boys seh.
Anyhow, de rain ain’t easing up; and to mek matters worse, dem city council workers strike, because dem ain’t get pay fuh de holidays. Dem boys worried, because it mean that dem ain’t got nobody to open de kokers when de tide go down to allow de water to run off.
It gon be tears. If de rain continue as it look like it gun do, is water pun water, and all who want to visit people gon have to stay home. That is wha worrying dem boys, because dem ain’t buy nutten fuh de holidays, suh dem ain’t got nutten home. It mean that if dem have to stay home is hunger and punishment.
Last night, too, a man try to play Santa by climbing pun he neighbour roof to enter de house to look fuh wha he ain’t put down. He see a small window and decide that he gon climb through. Was bad luck fuh he, because he stick wid he head in de house and he behind outside.
Day clean ketch he in that position. De neighbours hear one hollering soon morning, and when dem look out all dem see was a man wid a piece of board talking to de behind properly. Dem boys want to know who was talking to he head inside de house.
But Christmas is always a nice time. De road does be full of people in de days before, because everybody looking fuh bargains. De housewife looking fuh bargains fuh de house, and de thieves looking fuh bargains from de person.
Two of dem try a thing in Sophia, and dem in pain. One of dem girlfriend expect he to come home to carry she window shopping. He deh in a cell, and de only window he seeing got bars.
Dem boys hear he begging de police to carry he to hospital, but de police tell he that he got to wait till after Christmas, because he ain’t got no real injury, only a buss mouth and some bump pun he head.
He crying, and dem have others who crying, too. Some crying because dem got to spend Christmas alone, some because dem get ketch trying a thing and in jail, and some because dem wife lef dem, since dem refuse to find money fuh de holidays.
But most people smiling and shouting, “Merry Christmas!”
Talk half. Lef half.